13 and Counting

This picture was taken Saturday when Isaac got to see and hold his daughter for the first time since she was born over a week earlier. Actually, it was his first time holding her. Today was Emma's 13th day in the hospital and my 13th trip from Fallbrook to San Diego (Rady) Children's Hospital. It was 13 days ago now that I had her. And I am 13,000 times tired and ready to have my little girl at home. Our wonderful nurse yesterday was the first person that I felt was really encouraging. God knows when we need (and by need I mean "have to have!") encouragement. Yesterday was a big day for Emma. She had an MRI in the morning. We got the results really quickly. The neurologist said the MRI didn't show any brain damage due to lack of oxygen. It also didn't show any tubers (what Joel has), so we can pretty much rule out her having TSC. Praise the Lord! Just to avoid any confusion, we did not suspect that she had it, but knowing that she doesn't have it is great. The MRI did show some fluid in part of her brain, but that could be due to the edema that she had for several days after birth and due to normal birth trauma. We are just going to have to watch it to make sure it goes away. Tomorrow she is scheduled for another 24 hour repeat EEG because the first one showed decreased activity. They are thinking this was probably due to the swelling in her body, but want to make sure everything looks normal now. Yesterday her antibiotic ended. Her labs are looking good now so they felt safe ending it. That meant that her Venus line into her belly button was able to come out which makes it much easier to hold her. :) For the last few days her breathing has been really fast, which isn't good. It's going to have to slow before they can start weaning her off of the Canula. She's going to have to be off of the Canula for 2-3 days before we can bring her home. So we're still looking at having her there probably another week. I still have high hopes that she'll be home in time for Christmas, though. The other issue that has to resolve before we can bring her home is eating. She is doing pretty good in this department with the exception of her breathing rate. When she is breathing so fast she can't take a bottle because she could breath in the fluid and get pneumonia, which could kill her. She has to be taking all feedings by bottle before I can try breast feeding her and before she can come home. The good news on this front is that she is very close to her goal amount to eat! She is also waking up hungry at her feeding times. A good thing. Please pray specifically for her breathing to slow and her oxygen rate to be good. These are our main hurdles to taking her home. Thank you for taking the time to care in this busy season. Emma's newest thing is holding her pacifier. :) It's so cute!

Friday Update

It is hard to blog tonight. I have been feeling down since I left the hospital. It was unusually hard to leave Emma tonight.

The picture above was from yesterday. Emma was a week old and Jason went with us for a visit. It was his first time seeing his sister since the ambulance took her away. He had been begging to see her and his stuffy nose was finally better. I am so glad he was able to see her. It was totally God's timing because this morning the nurse called me to tell me that siblings are no longer allowed to visit due to RSV season. He managed to see her on the last possible day. It was wonderful to have two out of my four together. I can't imagine how wonderful it will be to have all four together.

Yesterday right after we got there they took the CPAP off and put on the Canula instead. It is much more comfortable and a lower level of care than the CPAP. It means she is breathing a little bit better.

This morning when I called to check on Emma they told me that she had started feeding with a bottle. Her first couple feedings went well and she sucked, but her last couple feedings she hasn't wanted to wake up to eat. One of those feedings was me trying to feed her. I think I am realizing how much work we have ahead of ourselves before she can come home.

Today she had an Echo to see if she still has the Pulmonary Retention (I think that is what they called it.) Don't have the results yet. She also had a neurologist come by and check her out. He said he wanted her to have a MRI next week. I believe checking for damage in the brain. I am somewhat worried about brain damage because of how her eyes look when she opens them. I am praying and hoping, though, that it is just all the medications or being so sick that has them not focusing well.

Her bilirubin was 21 Thursday morning. This morning it was 16. Normal is around 8. It was explained to me that when it is as high as 21, it can affect the brain so it is really important for it to come down. She was laying on a photo-therapy light and well as having the one on top for all of yesterday and today and her numbers are headed in the right direction.

Just before I left for the day today, she pulled out the feeding tube that was going through her mouth down her throat. She never did like having it there. I was told the night nurse would put a feeding tube down her nose instead.

I love her so much and just want to bring her home safe and healthy. I was blessed to be able to hold her for two hours today. She snuggles right into me and smiles in her sleep when I hold her.

Praise the Lord:

• She came off of the CPAP and is now on the Canula (less support)
• She has taken two feedings by bottle well
• She is crying stronger

Please pray:

• That there is no brain damage
• That her eyes are okay
• That her bilirubin will continue to come down
• That we can increase the amount of breast milk being fed (I just called her nurse and she is up to 9 mls; up from 3 yesterday)
• That she will wake up for her feedings and do well sucking from the bottle
• That eating would go well so I can start breastfeeding her soon
• That her breathing will continue to go well and that she would be able to come off of all support soon
• That Isaac's night-time cough will go away so he can see his daughter (he hasn't seen her since the day she was born).
• That Jason's and Joel's health would continue to get better
• That Jonny and I will continue to be healthy and not get sick
• For physical and emotional strength for me as I go back and forth to the hospital and try to heal from having a baby.

Day 7 Update

Yesterday was day seven. Seven days old and seven days in the hospital. This is what she looked like when I got to the hospital:

Her bilirubin is too high so she spent the day under photo-therapy. The nurses like to make her look girlie, so they drew eyelashes on her goggles. News this morning is that her bilirubin has gone up even more, so she is now also on a blanket that is giving her photo-therapy from underneath as well. The doctors are explaining that the jaundice is because she isn't eating yet, so she hasn't moved the maconium through her system. They did start giving her some breast milk yesterday. A VERY small amount, and they are watching to see if she's digesting it. She did well with it yesterday, but last night wasn't digesting everything, so they aren't giving her as much. I am so thankful that she is able to have some breast milk, however little, because I know how good that will be for her.

In the late afternoon they extubated her. She did well with that and it was fun to see her face without tape for the first time since having her. She now has a c-pap (the tubes going into her nose that are giving her oxygen and can give her some pressure if needed). It seems rather uncomfortable, so I am hoping that really soon she will be able to move to the next level down in nose tubes. They let me take this picture of her before they put a feeding tube down her throat.

And finally, late last night, I got to hold my first daughter. It is difficult because there are so many tubes and wires, but oh so worth it. She feels so tiny and soft. Thanks to the nurse who took some pictures.

While I was holding her she awoke some and I got to see some glimpses of her eyes. She also found her hand and started sucking on her pinkie.

Praise the Lord:

• She was extubated and is breathing on her own with the help of some extra oxygen
• She is tolerating some breast milk
• Her stats look good
• I GOT TO HOLD HER! :)

Please pray:

• That her bilirubin will come down
• That we can increase the amount of breast milk being fed
• That she would be able to start eating out of a bottle soon instead of the feeding tube
• That eating would go well so I can start breastfeeding her soon
• That she could have the c-pap off soon and her breathing will continue to go well
• That Isaac's cough will go away so he can see his daughter (he hasn't seen her since the day she was born).
• That Jason's and Joel's health would continue to get better
• And that Jonny and I will continue to be healthy and not get sick
• For strength for me as I go back and forth to the hospital and try to heal from having a baby.

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, words of encouragement, and kind helpfullness. They are all very much appriciated and help us to get through this.

Introducing...Emma Rose

Emma Rose was born 12.2.2010 at 12:20pm. She weighed 8 lbs. and 3 ozs. and was 19.5 inches long. She was a planned home birth which went fine until we cut the cord. She stopped breathing right after the cord was cut and we had to call 911. They transported her to Fallbrook Hospital and from there she was transported to Rady Children's Hospital. This is where she is now, still on a ventilator.

My beautiful little lady is 5 days old today.

This last picture is one of my favorites. I love her hair. It is amazing to me that hair can look feminine. My boys hair was completely different.

I am so in love with Emma, and am so thankful to finally have a little daughter.

There's No Place Like Home!

There truly is no place like home! Even though it's dirty and messy like a tornado went through it, there is this special feeling when you walk through the door. This sense of finally being able to relax and be comfortable. I can not even express how much I am looking forward to being in my own wonderful bed tonight (very soon, I might add). I honestly can't remember the last time I was this exhausted. I think being pregnant doesn't help. I feel like I can't move a muscle in my body. To top things off, I have had a headache for pretty much the entire time we were at the hospital and I've been nauseous the last couple days. I think the cafeteria food didn't help. No, actually I KNOW it didn't help! My mom made dinner for us tonight since we had to pick up the boys at their house anyways, and it was the best tasting food I've tasted for a VERY long time. Thanks, Mom! While we were at my parents, Isaac and I informed Jonny and Jason that we were planning on having Joel sleep with us tonight, since it was his first night back and he is just getting back on his normal anti-seizure medicine routine. (The three boys normally sleep together because Joel can't sleep by himself.) We didn't want Joel's seizures to wake up the boys. They quickly protested, stating that the reason they were soooo excited that we were back and because they missed sleeping with Joel and were looking forward to it. Guess where Joel is sleeping right now. Well, I am going to bed now. I just wanted to say how wonderful it is to be all together as a family again and how great it is to be home! Goodnight.

Day 5 ~ Sunday

Happy Father's Day!

We are going home! Joel has had several smaller seizures and he had a seizure this morning that was like one of his bigger ones at home, so they have decided that they have enough info to send us home. :) Smiles all around. More info about our stay and last night to come once we're home.

Day 1 ~ Wednesday

Well, I have not been good about posting every day like I had hoped I'd be able to. We've been busier than I thought we would be and I wasn't able to access my computer the first day we were here. I am going to update you on each day anyways, because this is my only journal and I like you to know what's going on with Joel. We appreciate all the prayers and thoughts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we left on Wednesday morning, Joel was only able to eat a few bites of Jello. We stopped at Dollar Tree for a mylar balloon (which he LOVES). He was a happy boy. We had a long two hour car ride. It always amazes me that he is in such a good mood on the mornings of testing where he can't eat because he's going to be sedated. Of course, he doesn't know what's coming, but it always surprises me that he is so happy even without food for hours. I thank God for giving Joel such a sweet, loving spirit. When we got to UCLA, Joel was admitted to the hospital. From there he was taken to the unit where he awaited being taken for sedation and the lead placement. He became more and more scared as time passed. It only got worse with each person in scrubs or a white doctors coat who passed or stopped to talk to us. Soon he had people talking about how good and strong his lungs were. He is loud when he crys his terrified cry. The lady who was trying to talk to us and get information was so sweet and understanding, she took all three of us out in the hallway to finish getting information so that he would stop crying. Then she took us to the "toy room", gave him a teddy bear, let him pick out a toy and loaned him Jinga blocks to play with while we waited. She then took us to a different room without a bed, spread a blanket on the floor and let him sit on it and stack the blocks while we waited. This made him much happier and he didn't cry again until we laid him on the table where they were going to put an IV in and sedate him to place the leads. He fought it so hard that they had to use the gas to put him to sleep before they place the IV with the sedative. The next time we saw him was an hour later when he was waking up with a white bandage cap covering the leads. We were wheeled to the pediatric floor where we were placed in a double room. We had hoped to have a private room, but it wasn't too bad sharing. We even made some new friends. The couple and little boy we shared a room with the first night were even Christians. The picture below was taken shortly after getting to the room.

Right after that picture was taken, Joel started throwing up. We still don't know why, but my guess would be a reaction to sedation. He threw up for about six hours until they gave him an anti-nausea medicine through the IV. We had hoped to avoid the IV before coming to the hospital, but at this point I was very thankful that the IV had been placed while he was out. He never complained about having the IV in. After he got the anti-nausea medication he perked up and ate a few bites of jello, apple juice and a saltine cracker, not much but better than nothing. So that was all he had to eat in 24 hours. This picture was taken when he was starting to feel better:

I wanted to share the picture below because we had an incredible view out of our window. It was even more spectacular at night. It's amazing how even the smallest blessings can help.

Why is Joel in the Hospital?

I believe I need to clarify why Joel is here at Mattel Children's Hospital UCLA. Several people have asked. After being seizure free (as far as we know) for two-and-a-half years after his surgery, he started having seizures again about a year ago. At first it was one or two a month, then gradually they increased until now. Now he has anywhere from five to fifteen each week. That is what has brought us here. We avoided it as long as possible to give him more time to hopefully understand more and therefore not be as scared, but we couldn't wait any longer. Raising his anti-seizure meds didn't help decrease the seizures. So we are admitted for pre-surgery testing, evaluating what his options are, hoping that another surgery is not in his future, but not ruling it out either. They are trying to catch seizures on the video EEG, did a PET scan to see what parts of his brain are functioning, and they will do a MRI to see what his brain looks like now.

A Taste of What's Coming

We got a small reminder of what life will be like in less than a week. Isaac took the three boys to the dentist last week for a cleaning. When I spoke to Isaac about it later, he told me how he almost couldn't get Joel through the doorway into the exam rooms. That little boy is STRONG. When he was a baby, he was diagnosed with poor muscle tone. He does not have that problem now. He grabs for the door frame and doesn't let go. It's a good thing that Isaac is going with us to the hospital. His strength might come in handy. I am dreading the hospital trip. We have been blessed to not have a hospital stay since his surgery three-and-a-half years ago. Joel will be admitted to Mattel Children's Hospital UCLA on Wednesday when he will be sedated to place the EEG leads. I am expecting him to wake up extremely upset that there is something on his head that he can't take off. He doesn't like hats for even one minute. It's going to be Isaac and my job to keep it on his head. Hopefully they won't put an IV in, that would just make the situation that much worse. They will be EEG monitoring him with video for up to a week, I think. His last one was a week. Hopefully it won't be any longer than that. I'm not even going there in my mind, because I can't handle the stress thinking about it. Hopefully it will be less than a week. That would be an extreme blessing. I believe they will also be doing some other testing on him while we're there. I should have internet access and I plan on keeping you all updated every day. Thank you all for being here and caring. I am leaving you with a picture of his last inpatient EEG in 2006. This time they will wrap his head so he won't be able to pull off the leads as easily. I wasn't blogging in 2006, so many pictures have never been posted. I will probably post more old photos as memories are triggered by being back at the hospital. This photo was within two weeks after his first birthday.

An Early Christmas Gift

This is the first of several updates on our family. Sorry I have been so bad about posting lately, but I have good reasons which you will discover through the following updates. I am still trying to take a picture on most days, but obviously have not been able to keep up with posting Project 365. I may try to get back into it, but there is so much going on right now that it is not on my priority list. For those of you who don't know yet...we received an early Christmas surprise.

We are expecting baby #4!

Due on or around December 26, 2010. (Crazy that it's the day after Christmas, which also happens to be the day my grandpa passed away in 2008.)

We heard the baby's heartbeat today. Every one of us is excited. The boys are hoping for a sister...and I have to admit that I would LOVE to be able to buy girl clothes. But we would all be happy with a boy, if that's what it is. As long as the baby is healthy, which means so much more to me when I say it now as opposed to before we had Joel. I always assumed my babies would be healthy before having Joel...now I know the cold, hard truth that healthy is not always the case. So please pray with us that this baby is born without TSC and that it is healthy.

I am ten weeks and two days today. I have been feeling pretty sick and am looking forward to being twelve weeks, as that is when my morning (all day) sickness went away on my other three pregnancies.

I am going to leave you with pictures of my first three when they were newborn, or close to it. (Poor middle kid doesn't have too many pictures, the best newborn photo I could find of him was when he was three months old. I know I have some I can not find...hopefully they didn't burn up in my parents fire, which is a very real possibility.)

My first - Jonny - now nine years old

Jason - the middle child - to be seven this month

And my Joely - the baby for now - four years old

I love my babies!

Joel's Seizures & Vision

I know that today is June 2. I was going to revise this post which I composed on April 28, but my information now is totally different, so I am going to post this as is. Don't know why I didn't post it at the time... It gives a good view into what life was like in April: Wow, I haven't blogged in a while. I guess that's what happens when doctor appointments take over your life. I am still trying to take pictures every day for Project 365 (I have missed some days) but there is no way I can catch up. I may try to start posting them again soon, but maybe not, depending on how life goes. The last month has been very emotional. Joel's seizures have increased lately. He's now having about 5 per week. We are adjusting medication to see if we can get them under control, but are also going to be heading back up to UCLA for an inpatient EEG. This will be torture for everyone involved. Just setting foot on the UCLA grounds reminds Joel of his surgery. And he still gets terrified every time anyone medical comes near his head. I have no idea how we are going to do this. Joel's vision has also been getting worse. He had an opthamology appointment a couple of weeks ago and for a couple of days we though he had lost half of what eyesight he does have in his right eye. Let me backtrack a bit. When Joel had his surgery at fifteen months old, they removed the part of his brain that controls the right side of his vision in both eyes. Therefore, he has no vision in the right visual field of each eye. About seven months ago, the opthamologist found a tumor in Joel's right eye. (Tuberous Sclerosis can cause benign tumors to grow in the vital organs.) The best we can do right now is to watch it, so when I took him in for a six-month check his vision was looking worse and they though he had lost half of the vision he had in that eye. I was heartbroken. It was awful to think that my baby was going blind in his right eye after all he has been through. And then to think that his left eye could follow at any given time was too much for this mother's soul to bear. I found myself crying, which I do not normally do. Mourning the loss of my baby's eyesight. A couple of days later, we took him to a retna & tumor specialist who made me feel much better. He said the center of Joel's retna was clear and that is the most important part for eyesight. He didn't think Joel had lost that much vision (other than what he had lost from surgery). A possible explanation for Joel's eyesight seeming worse is that his right eye doesn't seem to be tracking with his left eye. That's bad, too...but not as bad. Not tracking well can cause blurry or double vision which is made worse by bright light, so the brain tells the eye to squint which is what we are seeing a lot of. Please pray for his vision to get better and not to get worse and for his seizures to go away. Thanks for all your support. It is much needed.

Project 365 ~ Day 10 ~ Our Community Center

Today we had a play date at the Fallbrook Community Center. We are so blessed to have such a great place for the kids to play. I played there when I was a kid, but they have since updated the play equipment (thank goodness...I used to get splinters from the old). Even with the new play equipment, it still is the same ol' place that I played. I love that. I love that when you're there and look around you see trees and greenery. Space. This is part of what I love about Fallbrook. The small town feel. Knowing that when I'm at the community center or going into town, I am going to run into someone I know. Fallbrook has grown from around 30,000 when I was a teen to over 60,000 now, but it still has the same feel. And I get to share my childhood memories with my kids. This particular day, Joel wanted me to help him sit on the big boy swing. He had never swung this way, so I was a little fearful that he would fall and get hurt. But he didn't...he hung on like a big boy and pumped his feet. It was so cute. How did he automatically know that he had to pump his feet to go? Maybe he was secretly watching his brothers do it. Of course, I pushed him as well. And we all had a grand time.

Joel's kisses can still be very wet. Even so, we all love him so much that we enjoy each and every kiss. You can see true big brother love on Jonny's face even though he's getting licked. Although, I'm sure this was followed by "Ewww, Joel!" - with a funny look on Jonny's face as he wiped his cheek off.

We had fun! What a great way to do P.E. for the older two and Physical Therapy for Joel.

To view all the best photos from our time at the community: http://www.flickr.com/photos/46770513@N06/sets/72157623134770897/

Project 365 ~ Day 9 ~ Joel and Blue Snowball

Every Thursday Joel likes to "GO" to therapy. I mean he LIKES it! As soon as I tell him "Let's go to therapy" he says "GO" and rushes to the car. Today was no different except that today he took Snowball. He has fallen in love with this blue, stuffed bunny and since it's a bunny, it has received the love and name of our real bunny, Snowball. He insisted on taking it into therapy with us. Snowball had to participate in some way in most of the activities we did. It is actually very cute how attached he is to it. He likes to say "Ohhhh, kissy Snowball."

Joel usually gets a sticker after therapy. Today she asked which one he wanted. Knowing that there was no way he could understand or communicate enough to make a choice like that, I asked him if he wanted Pooh. He likes Pooh. He looked at her and very clearly stated "Elmo". He likes Elmo more than Pooh. Thankfully they had an Elmo sticker to reward his communication. When Isaac (my husband & Joel's daddy) saw the picture below, he was surprised. He reminded me that Joel doesn't like wearing his stickers. I don't know what was going on, but on this day Joel asked me (in his way) to put the sticker on his shirt. Of course, it didn't last long and then he transferred it to my shirt. And then back to his. The whole time not letting go of Snowball.

As you can see, he never did let go of Snowball. In fact, Snowball went with us into Costco after therapy. Snowball and Joel want to "GO!" somewhere, anywhere, anytime. It really is a blessing that this child likes to GO places in the car because he has spent A LOT of time in the car going to doctors appointments. As I drove away from therapy, I saw some people getting on a bus and it made me think about how blessed we are to have a car. It is one of those things that we tend to take for granted. There are many people without a car and if we were one of them, our life with Joel would be so much harder. On top of it being more work for us, he would probably not receive as much medical intervention. So, thank you God that we have a car. Thank you that we live in America where there is excellent medical care, excellent doctors, medicine available, ect. Joel is so blessed to have been born here. It is something we think about occasionally, if he had been born in a third-world country, he would be lying on a mat somewhere seizing constantly. He wouldn't be walking, talking, smiling, interacting. He would be a lump...like he was before his surgery. So again, THANK YOU LORD!

While I have these pictures of Joel in his carseat, I want to mention how much we have appreciated this car seat. I did a lot of research before we bought it, and I truly feel it is not only very comfortable, but it is extremely safe as well. The sides are so protective and keep him upright with his neck in a comfortable position when he is asleep. Joel and I both love his carseat made by Recaro.

And oh, I want to kissy Jo-jo...right in his kissing spot - the dimples just to the left of his beautiful smile (the right side in the picture)...and thank God that he is a part of our family.

One Good Veggie Recipe

I made some yummy asparagus with dinner tonight and thought I would share the recipe with you. We have been on an adventure trying to eat as healthily as possible because of Joel (well, really it's good for all of us!) I don't think I had eaten asparagus prior to one year ago. Now we love it. Well, all except Jonny and Jason...they tolerate it. When we ate it tonight, Joel couldn't get enough. He ate all of his and about half of daddy's. Steam asparagus for 3-5 minutes, depending on your preference for crispness. When done steaming, saute in olive oil with sliced raw almonds, garlic salt, lemon juice and zest (peel). A few notes: * I have never done the zest. It is still a delicious dish without.

* I don't saute hot or for long. The asparagus is already cooked from the steaming and I know olive oil looses it's nutritional benefit when it's heated.

* Most of the time Costco sells a bag of Organic Petite Asparagus in the frozen veggie section. (The back of that bag is where I got this recipe.) It's three pounds for (if I remember correctly) about $10. I prefer frozen vegetables because they are frozen right after harvesting, therefore ensuring we get the most nutritional benefit. Also, besides all the well know benefits of eating organic, certified organic foods are Non-GMO, and can never be genetically modified.

Project 365 ~ Day 8 ~ Another New Word

Today Joely looked at me and said "hant"...I couldn't understand him, so I asked him "what, baby?" He told me "Elmo hant!" After a little bit of thinking I figured out he was saying "want". Elmo wanted one of the pretzel sticks we were eating. I love that he's trying out new words. Pretend play is one of the steps of speech. He has to go through each step before he can reach the next level. Lately he has been pretending with his stuffed animals and other toys. He pretends that his little dinosaurs are eating his food. He gave me Elmo a few days ago and said "diapy Elmo". Diapy is what he calls diapers. He wasn't satisfied until I had put a diaper on Elmo. I love this stage. It's so much fun!

Project 365 ~ Day 7 ~ Making Cookies with Jason

Okay, here I go. I am going to tell you a story through pictures. Today Jonny went with Grammy, Grampy, and his daddy to work on my grandpa's house. Jason was really disappointed that he didn't get to go with them, so I told him I would make cookies with him. That wasn't quite good enough to make him feel better, so I was a softy and said he could make a really big cookie for himself. THAT made him feel better! I don't let them have much sugar, so cookies are a real treat. He loves baking (really anything to do with cooking) and I let him choose what cookie we would make so he choose No-bake Fudge Cookies and was excited. I will admit it, I usually avoid baking/cooking with my boys because it is so much extra work, extra time, and extra cleaning. It makes me feel guilty admitting it, but it's the truth. What surprised me was that I truly enjoyed this time with my boys. I really should do it more often. Extra bonus: it makes a good math lesson.

Jason made plans to share cookies with our neighbor kids before he started. He was so excited, it was cute. He did everything exactly as I told him to.

Joel was hovering near the whole time. I think he sensed we were cooking something with sugar.

After the first sheet was spooned out we set it aside to cool. Joel found a chair located conviently close to the cookies.

They were very tempting. So tempting, in fact, that I caught him licking one. I had told him not to touch them...and he was obedient...kinda. He didn't touch, just tasted. But he was trying to sneak the taste, and I caught him.

And that's just the problem, I caught him. When I told him not to lick the cookies, he got his adorable pouty face. It comes complete with teary eyes and pouty lip. I know exactly where he got that pouty lip because I've seen my baby pictures. This is the first time I've been able to capture the lip in a picture. Whenever he gives me the pouty face I can't help but smile because it tears at my mommy heartstrings with its cuteness.

I hate to say it, but I guess it worked, because this is the next picture:

I gave Joel a spoon to lick and he was a happy boy, once again.

I also gave Jason a spoon to lick and let him scrape out the bowl. According to my kids, this is the best part:

When the spoons were all licked, Joely couldn't contain his love for a brother that made him cookies. He just had to kiss Jason with that chocolatey face.

And Jason loved it!

What a sweet ending to a wonderful day. We'll have to do this again soon.

A friend asked me for the recipe, so here it is:

No-Bake Fudge Cookies

Makes 1 dozen

Mix together in a saucepan:

2 heaping Tbsp. cocoa

1/2 stick margarine (butter is healthier, non-dairy: Organic Earth Balance)

1 cup sugar (I use organic, non-bleached cane sugar)

1/3 cup milk (non-dairy: almond or rice milk)

Bring to a boil and boil for one minute. Remove from burner and add:

1.5 cups quick oatmeal

1/4 cup peanut butter

1 tsp. vanilla

Stir until oats are coated. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto waxed paper. Cool before serving.

This is a great recipe to make with kids. It has been in my family for a while. If you try it, please leave a comment letting me know what you think.