Patience

Today would have marked two weeks of Emma being off of oxygen.  Instead it's her third day back on.

Only when she's sleeping.  Just like the last {almost} two weeks completely off of oxygen didn't happen.

I had hope again last night when she went the whole night off the oxygen.

But as I type she is napping with her friend, oxygen.

The thing we have dreaded and centered our days around avoiding since Emma came home from the hospital has happened.

We are sick.
With a nasty cold.
Not all of us.
It started with the two that are supposed to be my easy ones.
They have been miserable for a whole week now.
Then I started feeling it.

Then Emma started sneezing and having an occasional cough, accompanied at times with watery eyes and stuffiness.

Now Joel is starting to show signs of getting it.

Isaac is the only one safe.

For now.

Doctors hounded into us from day one how dangerous it was for Emma to get sick.  It could send her back to the hospital or even kill her, they said.  So we have done EVERYTHING we possibly could do to protect her.  We haven't taken her into crowds.  Not even to church.  We have stayed home and kept the kids home.  Nobody sick around her.  If any of us is the least bit under the weather, we wear a mask around her. Vitamins, hand washing, making sure everyone was well at family functions before taking Emma, and restricting who has touched or held her are just some of the precautions we have taken.

But we can't avoid doctors offices.  And that is where Jason picked this bug up.  At the dentist. 
So we kept the boys away from Emma.  But then I got it {even though I was flooding my body with vitamins} and while I did everything I could to keep her from getting it, she did.  Thankfully not bad, but now her body is putting energy into fighting the bug instead of breathing. 

The goal is 94.  {The number is the percent of oxygen saturation in her blood.}

We were above that off the oxygen before she got sick.  I was so excited.

Excited that she was close to losing her "tail". 

The "tail" is what I call her cord hanging from her foot that plugs into the monitor.

Freedom.  I could taste it.

I must admit that part of my excitement was petty. 

I have been looking forward to taking her to church {for the first time} on Easter Sunday.

And I have been planning what sweet dress she would wear.

With tights. 

After all, she is my first girl after three boys.

We were on track to be monitor free by Easter, but now she definitely will not be monitor free. 

Which means no tights.  At least not the ones with feet.

And on the more practical side, her monitor beeps {loudly} and I was looking forward to not dealing with that during church.

So as I was mourning the fact that it will still be at least two more weeks until she can lose the monitor, it dawned on me that God may be trying to teach me patience.  This has occurred to me several times in the last four months.  And then I get busy hoping and trying to get Emma off the oxygen and monitor and I forget about patience.  Until all my efforts are getting us nowhere.  Then I stop and think about patience again.  I had always thought of myself as a patient person.  But this whole saga has taught me otherwise. 

So I will be patient.
And thankful.

That God is working to teach me patience.

That one step backwards is all we have taken.

That Emma hasn't needed to go back to the hospital, so far.

That she will be in church on Easter Sunday, God willing.  {No matter what she's wearing.}

That she doesn't need oxygen when she's awake.

That she isn't sicker than she is.

That I have a daughter.

And she's alive.

And she's home with her family where she belongs,

in my arms.

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

With much love,

Annie

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

~ Galations 5:22-23

P.S. While I was writing this post my brother {of Brooktown Photography} stopped by with Emma's newborn {as newborn as we could get without oxygen} photos.  I am so excited to look at them, but I am practicing self-control {another fruit of the Spirit} and waiting until Isaac gets home so we can look at them together.